It's Friday. Sex?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
