can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
