So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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