my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My life is pants optional.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
