I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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