you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
