whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
