In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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