I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize