I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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