I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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