This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
