she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
