he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
