I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
