Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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