I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
