It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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