i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
