You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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