yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
