All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
