I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
