you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize