kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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