I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
