No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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