I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sobbing to NWA
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
