the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
