all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
