Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
