i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
