Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
