Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
