so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
