And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize