WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
