I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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