My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
