The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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