In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
