My balls are so social today.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
