dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
