and you said cock pushups were impossible
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
