I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
