i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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