Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
