i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm too high and old for this...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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