My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
