That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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