I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
