I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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