Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
