thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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