Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize