I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
