weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How does one acquire holy water?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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