I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
