what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize