Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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