Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
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