Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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