she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
