first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
