another moral hangover. fuck.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
