i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So much rum. So many feels.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
