I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
