I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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