if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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